Keeping Calm During Covid-19
It’s natural to feel insecure & anxious right now, life is unfamiliar and unpredictable, but together we’ll get through this!
We’re living in unprecedented times as COVID-19 impacts lives everywhere. As we navigate & adjust, we may ask ourselves, how can we manage the many emotions we’re feeling? Reduce tension in a relationship while sheltering in place? Consuming news without increasing anxiety? Remain positive when living alone? Find my next career or job if you’ve been laid off? Help children who are struggling without their usual routine or friends? How do you create positive experiences while in lockdown? In general just spread kindness or making social connections while isolated?
Here’s a few tips that may help....
RELATIONSHIPS- a lot of our relationship stress has to do with our own expectations. The key is to downgrade your expectations a little & double down on what you connect on. Find a series you’re both into, a joint project to work on, and rather than expecting that the dishwasher is going to magically load itself and getting frustrated they haven't taken the initiative simply ask your partner or roommate if they wouldn't mind cleaning up as you cooked or do things together to avoid any resentment.
It's proven in natural disasters divorce rates usually spike but relationships can also be reformed. The odd but great thing about this is we have more time with our family without as many distractions, giving room for new traditions to be formed because we are in this unique situation. We can create fresh starts by doing things like cooking together, it can actually be a real opportunity to put good things in place for you & your family.
DRAMA- Be deliberate in what you are consuming! For example there is a hashtag #covidkindness on instagram to make you feel warm & fuzzy. Don’t watch negative news before bed to reduce anxiety & sleep better.
Stay away from toxicity! You don’t have to burn bridges but you don’t have to keep crossing them either. Think of all the prickly people in your life & on your social media & cut ‘em loose. Stop buying into their drama. Now is the time to surround yourself with people who challenge you in healthy ways, bring you happiness & are in your corner cheering you on rather than criticising & bitching from the sidelines. You don’t need a ‘Mean Girl’ type persona in your life constantly pulling you down.
REST EASY- Reset things mentally with the power of meditation. Take 3x conscious breathes (take a deep breath, feel your lungs expand fully, then slowly exhale to a count of five) when you are starting to feel anxious.
If you are unable to shut off before bed, harness the power of ritual to control things when things feel out of control. Run a bath, use lotions or oils & reduce anxiety provoking material before bed. Try not using your phone after 8pm, instead read a book before bed. Make sleep a priority by pushing back meetings to get more sleep if you're able.
LONELINESS- You can be physically alone without being socially alone by accessing zoom dates. If you are going to do an online yoga class grab your friends to join or watch a movie together. Intentionally find ways to connect in real time while also embracing the other things solitude can give you.
THE UNKNOWN- So many are facing an economic crisis (myself included) remember to give yourself space!
It can be hard to be proactive, so give yourself some self compassion & ask yourself what can you do to reduce your anxiety & bump up your mental health to make you more productive.
Using the negative can bring the possibilities of new direction. It is hard to see the other side but after every crisis there IS another side.
You have a time affluence at the moment, a powerful time to work out what you find meaningful in your life.
Do a strength test to see what comes naturally (you can find one here https://www.viacharacter.org/survey/account/register ), and write down what you found meaningful from your last job. This will help give you some direction to find what you would be good at but also enjoy. You now have the time to do the things you thought you never had time for like writing a book, studying or reorganising.
KIDS- Validating your kids feelings is incredibly important during this time, as they don’t have the frontal lobe tools to navigate this crisis.
Give them a routine. We are creatures of habit so a consistent schedule will help reduce stress.
Like us, kids can benefit through zoom chats with friends. Set up play dates online, you can arrange for them to play games or colour in the same drawings. This isn’t all doom and gloom, if you look there are good things happening when it comes to family life. I've loved playing 'Mario Party' with the kids, building a vegetable garden and doing experiments. I even took this opportunity to teach them about the virus by using glitter as the virus to show how it spreads and why its important not to touch things while we are shopping and how it can go from one person to another. I also had some fun with it by having a hand washing challenge by putting clear gloves on them and blindfolding them, then putting some paint on their hands as the soap and told them to rub how they usually would. I then took the blindfold off so they could see if they washed everywhere or missed any bits (got to say it was proud mum moment when I saw the paint covered all the glove).
You, being head of the house can be the calm in the storm. Seeing this situation as a challenge, not a crisis is doing the right thing to protect not only your kids but your own wellbeing.
FEELING HELPLESS- If you know people who have tested positive for covid-19 it can be incredibly frustrating that you can’t interact the way you would like. There is other things you can do to make you feel helpful. It’s anxiety provoking having family sick, but you can still be a ray of sunshine while locked inside by having random chats online, doing some meal prep & dropping off at their door or even ordering delivery online to lift their spirits. The biggest thing to remember is you ARE helping others just by staying at home!
It’s important to be nice to yourself & your mental health during this time. Remember that you don’t always have to be a ray of sunshine, you can also accept other peoples rays on you to brighten your day and reframe your perspective when you need. We are all in this together.
I pray we come out the other side more connected, more appreciative and have a greater respect of our beautiful Mother Earth. Stay safe out there!
xB
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